How to stop quarreling with them
Hello everyone. Now this topic is a little bit linked to " How to control anger ". But we'd like to dig a bit deeper to the key point of the matter, which is self-control. Any young man or girl have gone through their trials. And they can already understand where we want to get when mentioning the word " self-control ". We dare to say that the teenage life is somehow the most difficult era. And even if you're not a teenager, it might be the same if you're a young adult. Misunderstanding, lack of attention, bad temper, etc... All these issues create distortion and quarrels between parents and youngsters. So in this article, we'd like to propose a solution to that. A solution to the question of " how to stop quarreling with them ". But first of all, to do that, we'll be observing how quarrel manifest, then we'll see how we could figure it out.
Sometimes, even a very simple question may lead to quarrels. This is due basically to self-defense. But various reasons are responsible. Such as, misunderstanding, self-esteem protection, self profile defense, jealousy, etc... There are so tremendous facts causing quarrel. Let's see some example. Let's say a daughter took something off then put it somewhere that looks really wrong. But she did it because she wanted to clean up the space. But as she took that thing off and put it in the wrong place, her father just comes up and see. It suddenly makes him nervous. He says " What! Put it back to its place! ". Her daughter is so frustrated now her father reacted this way. Then she says " No! I just wanted to clean the space up that's why I..." Interruption. " No! Put it back! " says her father. In this case there was a misunderstanding.
Another example. A son always does his homework and is really hardworking. But so often, he creates free time when home. When he has to work, he goes to his bedroom, shuts the door, then get to work. But seems that her mother is not focus and perceives him only when he has free time. So she asks him " What are you doing Jack? Did you do your homework? " He says nervously with a loud tone " Yes mom! I always do! The fact is thaaat, you never see me holding a book. ok? " The mother says " Don't talk to me like that! I have the right to ask you anything! " Then they quarrel.
So what do you notice? There's always a response to defend themselves. The problem is that most people don't like arguments to defend oneself. They want you to care more about their reproach than your self profile defense or self-esteem protection. And when you over defend yourself, even if you're right, you'll certainly get a push. They won't consider your arguments. Cause your opponent also wants to be right. So self-defense is 0% eligible when it comes to preventing quarrels. So what can we do to stop quarreling? What's exactly the proper way to behave?
Getting self-control to keep silent would be very effective.
That would be a big lie to say that it's very easy. It must rather be a big deal for anyone. The point of getting to do something difficult is not to think of doing it, but to believe, try, and above all, automatically do it. When it comes to self-control and silence, it's an obligation to exclude emotion. Emotion is one of the major issues, preventing us from getting self-control. The problem is that we just can't be happy when they say something bad about ourselves, or when they misunderstand us, underestimate us, etc... Cause we all look for respect and good esteem. So after being hurt, certainly we're going to defend ourselves, argue, or even use bad words depending on our emotion. But there is a way to climb that mountain.
As we just mentioned earlier, in other words, be automatic and exclude emotion. Stop caressing or love your emotion, because big chances are that they lead to quarrel, fight, and tragically, death. But first of all you need to be automatic. Just stop your emotion. And if you were about to give a feedback, keep silent. In truth, it's no problem to give a response. But if so, you have to use proper words. Talk in a way that you don't drive your opponent nervous and angry. Otherwise, keep silent. There's no other way, especially for those who don't have self- control.
We can't say more than this. If you still struggle with your emotion after reading this article, it might be good to consult a psychologist for help. The major thing that leads to quarrel is self-defense. Self-defense of our image, career, inner state, all this to say ourselves. Hope you enjoyed reading this. Don't forget to leave a comment if need be. Thanks for reading.
Sometimes, even a very simple question may lead to quarrels. This is due basically to self-defense. But various reasons are responsible. Such as, misunderstanding, self-esteem protection, self profile defense, jealousy, etc... There are so tremendous facts causing quarrel. Let's see some example. Let's say a daughter took something off then put it somewhere that looks really wrong. But she did it because she wanted to clean up the space. But as she took that thing off and put it in the wrong place, her father just comes up and see. It suddenly makes him nervous. He says " What! Put it back to its place! ". Her daughter is so frustrated now her father reacted this way. Then she says " No! I just wanted to clean the space up that's why I..." Interruption. " No! Put it back! " says her father. In this case there was a misunderstanding.
Another example. A son always does his homework and is really hardworking. But so often, he creates free time when home. When he has to work, he goes to his bedroom, shuts the door, then get to work. But seems that her mother is not focus and perceives him only when he has free time. So she asks him " What are you doing Jack? Did you do your homework? " He says nervously with a loud tone " Yes mom! I always do! The fact is thaaat, you never see me holding a book. ok? " The mother says " Don't talk to me like that! I have the right to ask you anything! " Then they quarrel.
So what do you notice? There's always a response to defend themselves. The problem is that most people don't like arguments to defend oneself. They want you to care more about their reproach than your self profile defense or self-esteem protection. And when you over defend yourself, even if you're right, you'll certainly get a push. They won't consider your arguments. Cause your opponent also wants to be right. So self-defense is 0% eligible when it comes to preventing quarrels. So what can we do to stop quarreling? What's exactly the proper way to behave?
Getting self-control to keep silent would be very effective.
That would be a big lie to say that it's very easy. It must rather be a big deal for anyone. The point of getting to do something difficult is not to think of doing it, but to believe, try, and above all, automatically do it. When it comes to self-control and silence, it's an obligation to exclude emotion. Emotion is one of the major issues, preventing us from getting self-control. The problem is that we just can't be happy when they say something bad about ourselves, or when they misunderstand us, underestimate us, etc... Cause we all look for respect and good esteem. So after being hurt, certainly we're going to defend ourselves, argue, or even use bad words depending on our emotion. But there is a way to climb that mountain.
As we just mentioned earlier, in other words, be automatic and exclude emotion. Stop caressing or love your emotion, because big chances are that they lead to quarrel, fight, and tragically, death. But first of all you need to be automatic. Just stop your emotion. And if you were about to give a feedback, keep silent. In truth, it's no problem to give a response. But if so, you have to use proper words. Talk in a way that you don't drive your opponent nervous and angry. Otherwise, keep silent. There's no other way, especially for those who don't have self- control.
We can't say more than this. If you still struggle with your emotion after reading this article, it might be good to consult a psychologist for help. The major thing that leads to quarrel is self-defense. Self-defense of our image, career, inner state, all this to say ourselves. Hope you enjoyed reading this. Don't forget to leave a comment if need be. Thanks for reading.
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